How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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