i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
