I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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