i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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