Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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