Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
