Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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