Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
