New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i now understand why vodka
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
