If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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