What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
