just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
