If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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