Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
did i just pee glitter
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
