Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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