The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
