My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
