I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
