I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
