non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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