im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
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It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
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When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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