I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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