theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
