she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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