Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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