Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
