ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
