its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
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Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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