My underwear smells like fireworks.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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