Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
