Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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