You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
