Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
