I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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