i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
