No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize