i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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