ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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