Your tits are I can't wait for
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
