Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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