Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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