Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
