Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have fence marks all over my body
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
