My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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