if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
