I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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