I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize