I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
