sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
