dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
