im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
