I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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