I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
