gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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