You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He kissed a someone with a penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
