Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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