i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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