I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Boobs speak an international language.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
