hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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